Silas James Watt's Birth Story

The following is a copy from Summer's personal blog at pleonast.

Sunday morning around 1130 pressure waves started (PW is a positive Hypnobabies term for contractions). I casually mentioned it to Dan, not wanting to get my hopes up too much, although I had been walking a lot to try to move him down so I could avoid the induction my doctor scheduled for me on Tuesday night. Sunday afternoon, we had lunch at Pete and Doris's and then a second course of dessert at Craig and Joetta's. By evening services, the PWs were coming every ten minutes. I timed them all through services on a contraction timer program on Dan's iPod, but had to flip it over every time we stood up to sing a song because I didn't want a certain person sitting behind me to notice what I was doing and get too excited. Dan's parents were coming through Columbia on their way back to Chicago from Texas and we met them at their hotel after services. We went out to dinner at Olive Garden. By then, the PWs were coming every five minutes. We didn't tell his parents about it and made plans to have breakfast together at Cracker Barrel on their way home. Dan and I contemplated going to OB triage because the waves were every five minutes, lasting about 90 seconds each, and had been doing this for over two hours. I decided instead to try to get some sleep and to continue listening to Hypnobabies tracks on my iPod.

I woke up for almost every wave on Sunday night, although I didn't consider them to be painful. Part of my Hypnobabies training was to convince myself that they were not painful but just pressure (hence the term pressure waves). It worked, and I wasn't in pain, but I did feel the pressure. I moved around the house all night long. I would listen to my affirmation tract in bed, then I would get up and go to the rocking chair to listen to another, then to the recliner, the birthing ball, etc. I tried to stay hydrated and change positions every hour. I even snacked in the middle of the night because I knew giving birth would be hard work and they wouldn't let me eat anything in the hospital before he was born. When Dan's alarm went off at 0700, I told him I wanted to go to OB triage to get checked, even if I wasn't ready to stay because his parents would need to stay in town if Silas was going to be born soon.

We checked into triage at 0730. I wasn't able to keep my iPod on the whole time because there was just too much going on, but now that I think about it, I think I had turned my "lightswitch" to center, allowing me to continue in hypnosis with my eyes open. I maintained my focus and the waves continued to feel only like pressure. The resident came and checked me and I was at 3cm and 90%. He suggested I take a walk around the hospital for at least an hour and come back. I put on the super attractive hospital gown and matching robe and we walked laps around the hospital. Unfortunately, Columbia Regional isn't a very big hospital, so there wasn't much to see. After an hour, we went back, but I hadn't changed so I went home. You have to either be 5cm or have broken your water to be considered in active labor and to be admitted. The nurse was very nice and she said, "I'm sure you'll be back to have that baby later today."

We called Dan's parents and told them we wouldn't be at breakfast, but they should stay in town because we would probably have the baby within the next 24 hours. We went home and I went back into deep hypnosis. I don't remember much about Monday. I think I spent most of it in my bedroom with the lights down low and in deep hypnosis. The waves progressed up to every three minutes, lasting about 90 seconds each. Dan's parents brought dinner over to the house and I managed to eat, but then went back into my hypnosis. The Alamo Bowl game was on, but I wasn't interested in watching it. Good thing we DVR-ed it! By that point, I needed lots of concentration for my hypnosis. We went to our bedroom and lied on the bed. My ears were sore from wearing my earbuds for 24 hours, so Dan hooked the iPod up to speakers so I could listen to the Hypnobabies tracks while he rubbed my back and watched the game with the TV muted.

After about three hours of doing that, the waves increased in intensity and were coming every two minutes apart, lasting more than 90 seconds. I only had 15-30 seconds break between waves. I remember whispering to Dan, "I don't want to do this much longer." Assuming this was transition, we went back to OB triage. I think I was in center switch still, because I don't remember being in pain, just feeling like the waves were very powerful. I kept whispering one of my affirmations over and over "I am safe and my baby is safe no matter how much power flows through my body." That kept me focused and mostly pain free. When the nurse asked what my pain level was, I still only rated it at 4 out of 10. The resident came to see me and he was very very nice (not that the last one wasn't, but this one whispered when he spoke to me and he was very gentle). I was still at 3 cm and 90% effaced and a -2 station, so he called the attending I had seen earlier. The attending suggested walking some more, so that's what we did. They didn't want to do too much since I had my induction scheduled for the next day. We walked, having to stop frequently for me to lean on Dan and focus through each wave.

When we went back to the triage area, they checked me and I still hadn't progressed. The doctor gave me Visteril, a medicine to help me relax and get some sleep. He told me I would need to get some rest if I were going to make progress. We left the hospital and I lost my focus in the car and started crying. The pressure waves almost immediately became painful once I lost my focus and I began moaning. The more I felt like I'd lost focus, the more upset I became, and then the pain would increase. This was the fear-pain-tension cycle I had learned about in my Hypnobabies course.

Dan was great and he kept rubbing me, trying to get me to regain my focus. He wasn't giving me the right cue word, but bless his heart for trying. We went back to our bedroom and he put on a track for me. I was trying to tell him it was the wrong one for what I needed at the time, but I couldn't make coherent conversation at that point. He rubbed my back until he fell asleep to the hypnosis track playing. I don't think I slept at all. Even though it was the wrong track, it helped me regain some semblance of focus. Rather than moaning through the waves, I began humming in a low tone, sort of like one would do in yoga. The humming gave me something to focus on and I felt a little better in control. The waves were still painful, but very manageable.

Around 0400, I began feeling the urge to push. It was so strong, and not where I thought I would feel it. I was later told I had back labor (I had no idea at the time that's what it was) and that's why my pushing sensations were a little off. The urge to push scared me because I assumed I was probably still at three centimeters. I didn't realize how much time had passed since we'd gone to bed. I knew pushing at any point when you're not complete will cause a lot of harm to your body, so I again lost focus and started fighting my waves. The fear-pain-tension cycle kicked in again and I could barely walk to the car for the almost continuous pressure wave and the strong urge to push.

I don't remember the drive to the hospital at all, all I know was that I had officially lost it. Dan went inside to get me a wheelchair and I went straight to labor and delivery. The same resident from my second OB triage visit was there and he told me I was six cm. They hooked me up and I was screaming like a crazy person. I hated feeling crazy and I kept apologizing to everyone in the room. My doctor came in from home and I remember yelling at her and my nurse, "I'm so sorry! This is not me! I AM A CALM PERSON!" At another point in time, I could hear Dan talking to someone on his cell phone and I guess I didn't think he should be doing that because I started yelling at him to get off the phone.

During all of this, my blood pressure was high, my heart rate was high, and poor baby Silas's heart rate was very high. They started giving me fluid boluses and oxygen to help his heart rate but nothing was working. Finally, my doctor told me that she needed to get him out because she was worried about his heart rate. I was coherent enough for the nursing part of my brain to work and I agreed that his tachycardia was definitely not good for him, so I told my doctor I would take an epidural if it would get him out faster. Luckily, the anesthesia attending was right there and I got my epidural shortly after six.

I remember her putting it in and injecting, and I don't remember much else because I fell asleep sitting on the edge of the bed. I had been awake at that point almost 36 hours and had been having pressure waves for almost 48. I was thoroughly exhausted. I think that's why I went crazy there at the end when I was fighting the urge to push. The nurses put me back down and I'm told I slept for about fifteen minutes before it was time to push. I guess they checked right before the epidural and again right after and I went from 6.5 to 10 in less than fifteen minutes. They woke me up and I pushed him out in about an hour. When they held him up for me to see, I remember telling the nurse, "He's a chunk!" He weighed 9 lbs even and was 22 3/4 inches long. He has the biggest newborn baby feet I think I've ever seen! Because I had lost a lot of blood and my blood pressure was low, I didn't get to hold him for almost an hour. I had to lie flat on my back with my feet up and got some Pitocin to help stop the bleeding. I got to watch Dan hold him and it was cute. Dan had probably only held a baby for a total of five minutes in his life leading up to that.

Even though things didn't go exactly as planned, I still consider my Hypnobabies program to have been successful. I didn't anticipate 44 hours of labor. More than 36 of those 44 hours of labor were pain free, and I know now what I could have done differently to have made the last eight hours better. I don't regret getting the epidural because it allowed me to get a few minutes of rest so he could be born healthy and we could avoid a C-section.